History From America's Most Famous Valleys
The Orderly Book of Sir John Johnson
During the Oriskany Campaign
Annotated by Wm. L. Stone
With an Historical Introduction illustrating the Life of Johnson by J. Watts De Peyster, and Some Tracings from the Foot-Prints of the Tories, or Loyalists in America by T. R. Myers.
Joel Munsell, 1882
SIR DARBY MONAGHAN.
The Duke of Rutland(1) when lord lieutenant of Ireland frequently indulged himself in incognito rambles, with a few boon companions, through the meaner parts of Dublin, in the course of which he occasionally met with strange adventures.
One evening, his Grace, Col. St. Leger, and one or two others, having entered into a public house in the Liberty, they found the landlord (who had served under St. Leger in America) to be so comical a blade, that they invited him to sit down to supper with them. Darby Monaghan, who knew his Grace by sight, took good care that the entertainment should be such as to give every satisfaction to his guests, and he contrived so to season it with an abundant How of native wit and drollery, that they were quite delighted with him. His wine and whiskey punch were so good that by two in the morning they were all quite jolly, and ready to sally out into the street, in quest of adventures. This however, was prevented by the politic Darby, who contrived, by the humor of his songs, and the waggery of his jests, to fascinate them to the spot, until one after another, they fell drunk under the table.
During their libations, and after Darby had said several good things in succession, the Duke in a fit of good humor, and by way of a joke, turned round to him, and said, "by Jove! landlord, you are a glorious fellow, and an honor to your country What can I do for you my boy? [Hiccup.] I'll
(1) Charles Manners, fourth Duke of Rutland, was the eldest son of the General, Marquis of Granby. He succeeded his grandfather, the third Duke, in 1779. He was very popular, and was celebrated for his kind heart and his interest in literary men. He was appointed lord lieutenant of Ireland, February 17, 1784, and continued in office until his death in 1787.-ED.
knight you my lad ? so-[hiccup again]-down upon your marrow bones this instant!"--"Your Grace's high commands shall be obeyed," said Darby kneeling. The Duke drew his sword, and although Colonel St. Leger endeavored to prevent his carrying the joke too far, he struck him over the shoulder, and uttered the ominous words, " Rise up Sir Darby Monaghan!" Darby, having humbly thanked his Grace, and sworn fealty to the King of England in a bumper, an immense bowl of punch was ordered in this was filled and refilled, until at length the whole party became blind drunk, as before stated.
The weather being warm, and the great quantity of punch which they had drunk, prevented the topers from feeling any inconvenience from the hardness of their couch, and they slept as soundly as they would have done on a down bed, either at the Castle or the lodge. Darby, who, from long seasoning, was soon enabled to overcome the effects of the whiskey, rose betimes, and, having bustled about, soon prepared a comfortable breakfast of tea, coffee and chocolate, for the sleeping partners of his debauch.
When all was ready, not liking to rouse them by shaking or otherwise, he stepped into the room upon tiptoe and gently opened the window shutters. The sun shining in full upon them, they soon awoke from their slumbers, wondering where they were. The landlord, who was listening at the door, speedily put an end to their suspense, by thrusting in his black head, and nodding to his Grace, assuring him, " that they were safe and sound, and not a bone broke, in Darby Monaghan's own comfortable and fashionable hotel; also, that if his Honor's Grace and the other gentlemen would just shake themselves a bit, and sluish their faces with a little nice cold spring water, they might fall to without any more delay, for there was a breakfast fit for a laird laid out for them in the next room."
This intelligence was received with much pleasure by the party, who, having put themselves in decent trim, adjourned to the breakfast room, where they found everything of the best laid out in homely style ; but what pleased them the most, was Darby's attention in bringing in a bottle of whisky under one arm, and one of brandy under the other. Pouring out several glasses, he presented them to each, according to their choice, taking the blessed Vargin to witness that a glass of good spirits was the best maidicine iver envinted for weakness of the stomach, after straitching it with punch the overnight.
Darby's courtesy was taken in good part ; and after he had retired, the conversation turned upon his extraordinary humor. At length Col. St. Leger, seeming to recollect himself, said, "I am afraid, my Lord Duke, your Excellency made a bit of a blunder last night; you conferred the honor of knighthood on this same landlord." - "Did I, by heaven! " exclaimed his Grace. "That you did," replied the colonel. " Bless me, how unfortunate! why didn't you prevent me?" "I endeavored to do so with all my might, but your Excellency's arm was too potent, and I preferred seeing your weapon fall upon his shoulder, rather than have it thrust into me." "What an unfortunate affair!" exclaimed the Duke, rising; "but I suppose the fellow doesn't recollect the circumstance more than myself , let us call him in. I wouldn't have such a thing reported at St. James's for the world ; I should be recalled, and be the laughing stock of every one at the Court. Zounds ! to knight the landlord of a common punch house! the thing is surely impossible."
"Both possible and true," replied the Colonel; "but let us ring for him, and see what he himself says about the matter." Darby, who was in attendance on the outside of the door, heard all that passed, and resolved to resist every attempt to deprive him of his newly acquired honors. On entering the room the following dialogue took place. Duke-I say, landlord, we were all quite jolly last night? Darby-Your honor's noble Grace may say that same; we drank thirteen whacking bowls of punch among five of us.
Duke-Ah ! so we did, I believe-thirteen to the dozen- and you supped with us?
Darby-Many thanks to your Grace's Excellency, Darby Monaghan did himself that same honor.
Duke-No honor at all, my good fellow. But I say, Darby, do you recollect any thing particular that I did in the way of joke, you know , some foolish things when we were all as drunk as fiddlers ?
Darby-Certainly, your Dukeship may say that, any how. I dare say the colonel well remimbers you filling up the last bowl from the whisky jug, instade of from that containing the hot water. By the powers! I could not stand that; it set me off whizzing like a top, and does not remember one single thing after we emptied it.
Duke - [Laughing] -Oh, then you don't remember my drawing my sword and threatening to run you through the body?
Darby -The Lord above foriver presarve yer Dukeship's Highness from cru'l murder and sudden death all the days of yer life ! I don't remimber any such thing ; but I remimber well the whack yer Excellency's Royal Highness gave me with that same sword over my shoulder, when ye bid me "rise up, Sir Darby Monaghan."
Duke.-You do? eh ! But that was all in jest, you know Darby; and so we must think no more about it.
Darby -Long life to your Highness! but I took it in right arnest , more by token that my shoulder aches at this moment with the blow; but I mustn't mind that, for it was given upon an honorable occasion, and resaived with good will-so thanks to yer Excellency for all the favors now and hereafter.
Duke -But you don't presume to suppose, my good fellow, that I actually conferred upon you the honor of knighthood?
Darby -By the powers ! your Highness, but I do. Sure I wouldn't be after doing your Highness such discredit as to think ye meant to break yer royl word to man or mortal.
Duke-Oh the devil!-[whispering]-I say Colonel what is to be done?
Colonel- [Whispering)-Give him some berth, and make him promise to say nothing about the frolic.
Duke-Well, Darby, I don't mean to act scurvily towards you. I can give you a tidewaiter's place, or. something in the excise, that will bring you in about one hundred and fifty pounds a year, and make you independent for life.
Darby - [Kneeling, and kissing the Duke's hand] - Let me go on my merry bones once again, to thank yer Royl Highness for being so good and merciful to poor Darby Monaghan! He'll niver forget to remimber to pray for yer excellency to the blessed saints, on Sunday or holiday.
Duke--Well, then. Darby, it is settled that you give up the title, and that nothing shall ever be said about last night's adventure?
Darby - Give up the title! yer Grace? and not be called, Sur! after all? I thought the hundred and fifty pounds a-year was to keep up my style as a true and loyal knight Duke - No, faith ! you sha'n't have place and title too, so choose without delay.
Darby - [Pausing] - Well, yer Grace, if yer Excellency plaises' I'd rather keep the title ; for, d'ye see, it 'ill be such a wonderment for a punch house to be kept by Sir Darby Monaghan, that I'll soon have all the custom of Dublin city; and that 'ill be better than a tidewaither's place, any how.
Duke-[Laughing.]-Well, then, what more argument about that matter, you shall have a place of about two hundred and fifty pounds a-year, and you must give up your knighthood this instant.
Darby - [Going out] - Plase your Excellency, then, I'll just step up stairs, and ax hir Ladyship's advice ; and, I dare say she'd rather have the money. So I'll inform your Honor's Grace in a twinkling.
Her Ladyship was accordingly consulted on this important question; and she wisely, and without hesitation, voted for the income of two hundred and fifty pounds, which they enjoyed for many years. The title, too, stuck by them till the last; for after the Duke's departure from his vice-royalty, the affair was bruited abroad, to the great amusement of the middle and lower orders in Dublin, who never failed to address the fortunate couple by the appellations of "Sir Darby and Lady Monaghan." London Clubs.
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